Station and on train announcements/staff comments overheard can be a good source of amusement for regular rail travellers. My favourites are as follows: –

• “We apologise to passengers arriving at Fenchurch Street this morning for the delays to services. This is due to customers taking too long to entrain and detrain on route to London.”
• “Would passengers waiting on platform 5 please move along the platform; all carriages of your train will get you to your destination at the same time”
• Bluebell Line Passenger: “I see you’re running late today”
  Staff member: “Yes Madam, we do it occasionally for added realism”

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